How to Love Monday — Start by not Hating it
I want to love Mondays. I mean it, I do. I want very, very much to be one of those people who launches forth into the week with a spring in his step and a well-flossed smile. The detritus and chaos of the weekend (in my family, that’s usually skis and boots in the winter, two days’ worth of cottage supplies in the summer, and always, always, the inexplicable mess in the breakfast room) will be squared away, and the house — and my wife and kids — will be ready and eager for a fresh start. When schoolyard conversations with other parents drift toward how hard Mondays are in their house, I find it all rather tiresome.
But secretly, I agree. Monday is hard, especially for families with school-aged kids. And when ADD is added to the mix, the risk of things going nuclear before the kids get to home room is substantial. I have ADD, and it’s possible that two of my three kids do, too. More than once in the final minutes before we all head out the door on Mondays, I’ve found myself barking like a drill sergeant to get jackets, boots, and backpacks in order before the long march to school. And by the time I wave (or if I’m lucky, am hugged) goodbye by my kids, my stomach is knotted with shame and regret. I’ve already had to tear the kids away from Harry Potter, Lego, and memories of the weekend. Why would I do anything that makes it even harder and more painful to begin the week?
As an ADD coach who works with adults and families to manage, among other things, the overwhelm of daily life, I feel like a bad parent when this happens, as well as a hypocrite. I’m neither of these things, of course — I’m a pretty good dad, I know it, and I’m not trying to buffalo my kids into grudging compliance. It just comes out that way sometimes. Overwhelmed by the task of juggling the needs of three kids under nine years old, I react by applying pressure. “Dad, the more you yell at us to go faster, the slower we get!” protests my eldest son. Never a truer word was said.
Einstein described insanity as dong the same thing over and over again and expecting the result to differ. In an effort to avoid being labeled insane (by even more people than already think I am), I’ve chosen to examine what I could do differently to get a different result. After looking for the root causes of these rough starts, I’ve created the 3 “L”s: a simple 3-step system that — here’s the critical part — I put into motion on Sunday night. If your family, like mine, gets caught behind the 8-ball on Monday mornings, try these steps:
- Laundry: I’ve wasted many, many valuable minutes furiously struggling to help my kids find clean clothes for Monday morning. Do a couple of loads of essential laundry on Sunday night. Even if they’re still in the dryer while you shower and eat breakfast, everyone can head off with clean clothes. Even better, if your laundry is caught up, especially for younger kids, help them choose their clothes for Monday as they go to bed Sunday night. Do the same for yourself –especially if a shirt needs ironing or shoes need polishing.
- Lunch: Is anyone staying at school for lunch? Do you take your lunch to work? Try preparing lunches as you clean up the kitchen after dinner the night before. Make sure lunch bags and Thermoses are ready to be loaded while you’re preparing breakfast.
- Launch: one well-known ADD coach advises creating a “Launch Pad” by the front (or back) door of your home. The launch pad contains all the crucial items you need for the day. If the launch pad is properly “loaded,” you minimise the chance of needing to scramble through the house to locate crucial items at the last minute. Consider creating a launch pad checklist (astronauts swear by them!). Launch pad checklists can be as long as they need to be. Mine looks this
- wallet
- keys
- mobile phone
- lunch
- briefcase, gym bag, backpack — don’t forget key books, files, running shoes, etc.
- in winter: gloves, hat, scarf
- in summer: bike helmet, bike shoes, bike lock
Don’t be afraid to experiment with different variations on the “3L” approach. People (and families) with ADD often find planning ahead to be a challenge. But once it’s structured into their routines in a way that works for them, they can be extremely organized and effective.
