Reframing Redux
In my last post I wrote about the value of reframing as a technique for redirecting pessimistic and harmful perspectives on difficult situations by striving to view every situation - even those that might be seen as failures - as opportunities to learn and improve. Of course, there’s nothing new or magical about reframing; at its most basic level, it’s just another version of an extremely well-established principle, espoused by grandmothers the world over: always strive to look for the good in things (and people). Anyone who’s ever been reminded by a teacher or workshop leader about the most effective ways to give and receive feedback has learned it too: offer several positive observations for every one that might be seen as negative.
Most people find this remarkably easy to do when evaluating others. But many of us struggle to look as hard for the positive in ourselves. People with ADHD often find it especially hard. They’ve rarely heard much supportive, constructive feedback, and many have experienced a lifetime of largely negative criticism. No matter how beautiful the ‘pictures’ of their lives are, the ugliness of the ‘frame’ distracts them, and they fail to appreciate it.
I recently had a chance to visit the Art Gallery of Ontario, recently reopened after a breathtaking renovation by renowned architect Frank O. Gehry. Maybe it’s not surprising that an art gallery should get me thinking about reframing; pictures and frames are their stock in trade, after all. But I found myself thinking about the gallery itself. During its planning and construction, the renovation was sharply criticized by many commentators as a lipstick job, limited and superficial rather than substantial. My experience was entirely the opposite: I found it spectacular. And while many of the collections in the gallery were the same as they had been before the renovation, the “frame” of the gallery made it possible to experience the artwork in entirely new ways. I was able to look with fresh eyes at paintings and sculptures that I had seen many times since my first childhood visits to the gallery. The change to the frame enabled me to enjoy powerful new perspectives.
My reframing at the art gallery happened completely by chance, and the extra enjoyment I got from the act of reframing was an unexpected bonus. Most of the time it needs to be a more deliberate act, initiated to put a negative circumstance (or at best, a neutral one) into a new light . While there are countless ways to initiate, or trigger, the reframing process, my aim is to find the simplest most reliable cue that I can. Since my style of learning and retention responds well to words, music and sound, I looked for a sonic cue that I could trigger when faced with the need and opportunity to reframe. For the moment, I’ve settled on the hook of a popular song from the ’80s: “Freeze Frame,” by the J. Geils Band. I replaced the opening words to the song - the same two words as the title - with the word “RE-FRAME!”, sang it to myself in the urgent, explosive way that the song begins… and it resonated perfectly for me. I’ve never really liked the song, or the band, but their valuable contribution to my arsenal of helpful self-talk has helped me to reframe their place in my memory.
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